Since all of our friends with babies have moved away (not really all of them, just the two that lived closest to us) Matt and I are seeking couples with kids that live nearby. I belong to an online parent group which I love. It's great for baby advice and buying & selling baby gear. They have organized playgroups which meet at parks on a regular basis, most of the time during daytime (working) hours. I decided to give a couple of the afternoon playgroups a try.
Friday afternoon I picked up Bella from daycare and drove straight to Spotts Park where our age playgroup announced they would be meeting from 4-6 pm. I have never gone to an 'event' nor have I ever emailed or spoken to a parent that belonged to the group. Bella and I arrived and smiled as we walked toward the play structures. No one rushed over to ask who we were and whether we were new or not. Of course I didn't expect this, but it would have made it easier. I made small chat (how old is yours? that's a cute outfit. isn't the weather great?), but no one remained engaged and I felt I couldn't keep asking questions. I wasn't even sure that these parents were part of the playgroup. Anyway, one by one, everyone left until it was just me and Bella. We played some more, then went on our way. Defeated.
Monday afternoon I picked up Bella from daycare again and drove straight to Proctor Plaza where an all aged playground meets regularly from 4-6 pm. Again, Bella and I arrived and smiled as we walked toward the play structures. No one approached us. No one moved. There was a group of parents circled around each other not too far from the playground. I was fairly certain that these were the moms that I wanted to meet. I could not figure out how to actually meet them. How are you supposed to do it? Walk over and say "hi" ? Then what? It was clear that they knew each other very well. How do I break into the clique? Bella still needs quite a bit of supervision on the playground. I couldn't just leave her to attempt to talk to the moms. Bella would not tolerate hanging out when there's a playground so close. I gave up. Bella and I played. After a while, we left. Defeated.
I'm going to keep going to these playgroups in hopes that someone will recognize me stalking them. Maybe one of the times, there will be fewer parents so I can get to know someone without trying to jump into an already established conversation and clique. Any other ideas are welcome! Really, what I would rather do is send Matt to these groups. He's much more outgoing and would just walk up and say "hi" without anticipating the next move. It might be awkward, but he'd get to know someone.
Monday, October 25, 2010
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4 comments:
How did you meet your original group??
I recently joined one of these groups as well. I discovered that you do need to walk up and ask, "Is this the Mom and Me group?" Once I did they were very welcoming. After that I chose an outing that was at a restaurant so we were all seated together and the kids played on the play structure close by. I was able to get to know some well that day. Once you get to know some people with whom you and Bella get along with:
you can set up your own play date times and places.
Good luck... don't be shy... you are worth getting to know:)
you know, I am having the same problem. I joined a couple of mom groups and - usually if they are at the park, I can never sit and chat since my 3 need supervision. . . sometimes they have mom's night out - that may work better.
Here's some advice from on old pro. Parks are not new member friendly. The playgroup I organize, we have stroller walks weekly. Kids get to play after the walk: but during the walk they are in the stroller so moms can talk without distraction (too much). We usually meet at a specific entrance of the mall; away from children's stores and play areas. So there is no confusion why we are there. Not every playgroup will be a great fit. check out meetup.com, bigtent, and cafemom. test the waters a bit to find the right one. good luck!
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