guilty...

It's hard to listen to my mom talk about the crib she's bringing to Ashley and John...and the high chair too! I'm almost waiting for her to ask for the cradle that's at my house to give to them! Very fortunately, Matt's family has a high chair, crib and playpen.

I'm really scared to tell my mom and dad the news, especially after not saying anything for the last month. I'm just not sure about their initial reactions. Of course I want their approval and want them to be truly excited, not worried for us. Eventually, I know that they will be so proud and happy.

I feel very awkward asking Ashley questions about her first prenatal visit. I'm really asking because I wonder how my visit will be different. Ashley went in at 9w, 4d's while I'll be going in somewhere in my 7th week.

It's so exciting to see my brother so excited and in awe of his new baby-to-be. Matt and I aren't getting too excited about it yet...we're waiting for the baby to grow more and to get doctor's confirmation that all is well....and we're apprehensive (or at least I am) about what exactly the future holds for all of us.

We've talked about a general plan for when the baby arrives. I'll need to go back to work as soon as possible so Matt's going to take parental leave for as long as possible...until the baby is 3 months and can go to the (great!) UH Child Care Center or until the semester break when I can be at home.

If it's a girl, we'll use my last name. If it's a boy, his last name....or maybe not? We've talked about baby girl names too! I'm not going to share just yet...but I did just found out the name we liked is the name of an evil fantasy character in a famous book/movie. It's hard to pick out names!

Whew! Now I feel much better getting my thoughts out. The guilty feeling of having a secret is subsiding.

compliment?

A student came up to me today in the ladies room and complimented me on my hair. She likes that I don't color it and that it's natural. Apparently the gray is that obvious. She thinks that I'm a great role model for a lot of older women. When she ages, she's going to think of me and not color her hair. I'm not sure what I think about it. The student was being genuine and I appreciated her comment - I felt complimented! But now, I'm realizing that my hair color (or lack there of) is noticeable from a 20 foot distance...from the podium to the student desks.

nodding off

Matt and Duchess left for NYC today! They are driving to see friends and family. Matt will stop in Mobile, Charlotte, Baltimore, NYC and Philadelphia. Let's just hope he doesn't do what Duchess does in the video!

sleepy head

Dutcher was sound asleep on the couch today. Penny was sprawled out next to her. They looked so peaceful sleeping together. Duchess took a couple of minutes to wake up then had a very groggy look. She's just like Matt! - he takes awhile to fully wake up too!

the escape artist

I came home again today to find Penny sleeping on the couch! She's supposed to be in her room, a coat closet converted into a comfy kennel secured by a baby gate. A week ago, the gate broke so Penny could easily push the gate open. She learned how to do this quickly. Matt and I bought supplies to fix it. In the meantime, we used a replacement baby gate (just like the original)....and Penny has discovered how to escape again!!! The gate was still latched so she must be jumping over the 32" high gate! I'd love to see her in action! It seems to be a nearly impossible feat! We'll have to come up with some sort of solution.

creative excuses

So, I've done some internet searching and figured out that I'm 6 weeks pregnant today! That means it has ear buds and a beating heart! Amazing to think it can do that and be the size of a pea. I have no negative side effects other than being more hungry and more sleepy. The hard part so far is figuring out a plan - Matt and I are doing a lot of talking and slowly getting over the shock of our lives (possibly...still a chance of miscarriage) changing dramatically forever. The second hardest part is coming up with excuses for why I don't want to drink alcohol or coffee anymore. So far, I've said that I have to work early or exercise early in the morning...or that I drank so much in London that I need to 'dry out' before drinking again (my bowling team bought that one!). I've walked around with a drink and faked sipping it...but eventually gave it to someone who had an empty glass. I've also said that Matt thinks I drink too much so I'm trying to abstain for awhile. Jack, Matt's cousin, said I shouldn't listen to Matt!

Ashley and John's news!

We celebrated Father's Day on Saturday, June 14th. John and Ashley shared the news that they are pregnant! They told us at brunch at the Humble City Cafe and I nearly fell out of my seat. I was shocked!, especially when they said that they were just weeks pregnant. Their due date is in February and so is mine! Holy Moley! Apparently, Matt was ready to kick me if I started saying anything. Of course I wanted to tell then but we agreed that it was best to wait until Matt and I had a plan...and a baby was a real possibility. We want to wait until at least 10 weeks so that there's a dramatically less risk of miscarriage. So, we're waiting...and continuing to here news from Ashley and John. It feels a bit deceptive but we're not ready to tell.

a faded line

Just to let all of you know that if you take a home pregnancy test (hpt) and the line is faded or barely visible, it still means you're pregnant! Matt and I talked about a 'maybe baby' and decided (his words) that "if it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't." Well it happened and we aren't ready. It was quite a surprise considering my extremely predictable cycle...or what I thought was predictable. I took the hpt on Saturday, June 7 and told Matt about it. Neither of us really believed it. I made him do another hpt on Monday morning to make it "real." Results showed another faded line...which we began thinking may mean that it was positive. Later that day, my doctor confirmed our growing suspicions and I started taking prescription prenatal vitamins! Whew! Yikes! It's the beginning of quite an adventure!